WyzWmn's World©

is in town

and staying with

the cuz n family

I stopped by there

for about 15 min

after work yesterday

but I was so beat

I couldn’t stay

anyway…in that 15 min

the fadder told me twice

that he really loved being

at the cuz’s house

that he felt both

wanted and needed there

and that it was really nice

to feel needed as opposed

to being invisible

or detested

the way the bother’s new

girlfriend treats him

he just seemed so

sad and lost

my face leaked for him

alla way home

imagine being 76 yrs old

having just ended a 10 yr

relationship

whereby he got fucked

right up the yak

by said ex

to move into a travel trailer

in the bother’s yard

and to be treated like a pariah?

just the very fact that

he’s her boyfriend’s fadder

ought to garner him

some respect

or the fact that he’s 76 yrs old

but no

sometimes it makes me

fightin mad

and sometimes it makes

me so god damn sad

all I can do is weep

I just don’t get people

I just don’t.

head’s whirring…
who to trust…?
who to believe…?
how much more?
will it ever stop?

here’s another night
of lost sleep
some backstabbing chit
has cost me

what would ever have possessed me
to think that I could lead a normal life?

time and again
I try
and
I fail
and pick myself up
to start over again

and time and time again
I make it so far
and then get cut
off at the knees
for trusting someone
less than trustworthy

for putting my faith
in the unworthy

why is it not more apparent to me
out of the gate?

why can I not see the facts before me?

what is it that makes me think
that this one time
I’ll have placed my trust
correctly?

apparently
I am less sane than I thought

in my struggles
to be true to myself
I seem to have lost the ability
to see people for what they really are

world weary
sad
disappointed
and
disappointing
bereft of truth
and
honour

but who?
them?
or me?

am I more disappointed
in the liar?

or myself for having
yet once again
set myself up for failure?

round and round in circles….