WyzWmn's World©

there is no place
that is to be a safe haven

there is no where
to muss out loud
to put things in order in my head
without getting into trouble

I have been given express orders
to not speak about issues that move me greatly
some that break my heart
and some that just piss me off in general

and I don’t know
in all good conscience
that I will keep it to myself
that I even should
keep it to myself

is it better to spill the beans
and live within my personal integrity?
or is it better to follow the fucking lemmings
and take orders from a psycho?

and why oh why is it just impossible
for some animals to leave well enough alone?

the thing about getting to be an adult
is that there’s no more hiding from life

I went to my cousin’s for supper tonight
with my fadder

just as we were sitting down to eat
my phone rings

it’s the VOD
and she’s crying

her sister has passed

we mouth the platitudes
it is indeed a blessing
she is no longer in pain
it’s good she went to see her
it’s time to come home

and then I get to go back to the table
and tell my cousin and his wife
and my dad

my cousin and his wife
are from my fadder’s side of the family
so they empathize
but then didn’t know El

my fadder, on the other hand
bursts into tears
remembering the life that was
the years of fun when he and
the VOD were still married
he’s very sad

me
I am curiously devoid of emotion
I didn’t have a close relationship with my aunt
and I’m more concerned about the VOD than anything

I ended up out sitting by the firepit
in their back yard
in the rain
watching the rain clouds
and smelling the honeysuckle
not even really thinking about more
than watching the rain clouds
and smelling the honeysuckle

there will be no service
she’s requested cremation and distribution of ashes
and the VOD will be home in a day or two

life just keeps carrying on
even when
all ya really want
is for it to stop long enough
to catch yer breath

Rest in Peace
Eleanor McCreight
you were loved
and in the end
you can’t really ask
for more than that