I wonder about my writing every day\u2026 I used to write so prolifically, and now I don\u2019t\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Personally, I believe it\u2019s directly related to sleep patterns\u2026
If I have a really good dream..when I wake up, I lay in bed for a couple of moments and think about how I\u2019m going to lay that out to write about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then by the time I go to the bathroom
and get dressed
and take the dog out
and walk her long enough for her to crap a
nd then pick up her crap
and walk down to the dumpster to dump the crap
and then walk back to my house.
It\u2019s all forgotten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can vaguely remember that so-and-so and so-and-so were in my dream,
but I can\u2019t remember anything about the dream itself.
The dream that was so crystal clear and detailed and ever so interesting..is completely gone<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then when I come in the house
and I take the harness off the dog
and I check what the weather is for the day
and I sort out what coffee I\u2019m going to drink
and start that process
and then go to the bathroom
and brush my teeth and take my pills a
nd go back to get the coffee.
that\u2019s finally finished dripping
and I remember nothing\u2026.
I\u2019ve also thought for a long time that that process has been as a result of the TBI.
It frustrates me beyond comprehension
that my memory is shot like that<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It also frustrates me beyond comprehension
that there is so much information available in the world for free
however, going to see a counsellor
on the regular is $175 an hour
and who the fuck can afford that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also, I\u2019ve pretty much confirmed for myself
that my ability to write
is definitely attached to my audience.
If I know that someone is going to read
what I write
my writing takes on better depth.
When I was writing my story,
there were a group of my friends
that were reading every day
so I didn\u2019t have a problem
with making that work, but now I have a problem
when I know that the only person that\u2019s reading what I\u2019m writing is my friends Lin or Joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t seem to be able to convince myself
that other people will read it
but later on
and I think that\u2019s part of the instant gratification
ADHD\/TBI brain…
and who knew that a woman would have to
go through menopause
to discover
that all her quirks and foibles
were ADHD?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I even tried having a notebook
and a pen
beside my bed
so that before I got out of bed,
I could write down a synopsis of the dream
so that there would be a story available,
but it doesn\u2019t work that way for me anyway…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also, my brain works
and wants to work
when I have nine or 10 hours sleep,
but that happens so few and far between (it’s not like it’s the norm)
that I don\u2019t seem to have the brain fortitude
to do any kind of writing
when I only get 4 to 6 hours sleep\u2026
and completely forget about
thinking of writing
on the mornings where I’ve only had an hour’s sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway…if you are still dropping by on occasion to see what I’m writing – drop me a line here or on FB just so I know someone is reading this stuff, LOL<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I wonder about my writing every day\u2026 I used to write so prolifically, and now I don\u2019t\u2026. Personally, I believe it\u2019s directly related to sleep patterns\u2026If I have a really good dream..when I wake up, I lay in bed for … Continue reading