WyzWmn's World©

It’s a dangerous business going out your front door. – J. R. R. Tolkien
that’s a good quote…
and it kinda speaks to the way I’m feeling this morning…

I’ve calmed down substantially since the weekend
even the ability to ride to and from work does that for me

I am however behind the 8 ball for the moment at work
apparently I have delusions
that in spite of taking holiday time off
I can get everything done this month

“not so much”

thank goodness for them little blue pills
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
can you just imagine what shape I’d be in if I stopped sleeping again?

I know I’ve really got to get to the “go with the flow”
but having taken time off creates a pressure in my head
that makes me feel like I’m failing

and I know I’m not

the good news is that the new glasses will be ready Thursday
so soon I’ll be broke
but the headaches should stop

50?
who’s freakin idea was that?

the thing about birthdays
is that others
quite often
make more of it
than you do

this weekend
my bro and father came down island
and
yesterday we…
along with the mother
went to dinner
at the cousin’s house

it’s all good…
except
that they had the house
decorated for a “birthday party”

how the hell
did I get to be 50 years old
and my family not know
that while I love receiving presents
I loath the opening “surprise” brouhaha?

and for the life of me
I can’t figure out why
any of them would think
that the way to commemorate
one’s meeting a half a fucking century
would be to receive
a god damn dish rack?

but I digress…..

I don’t like surprise parties
at the best of times
they give me the same kind of anxiety
that practical jokes do
and we all know
that I am missing
the practical joke gene…*jean*??
how Freudian is that?

but here’s the kicker…
all week long
I have been waiting
for Sunday to arrive

the Pickle is fixed
and I’m gonna spend the day
riding and recharging
I am soooooo looking forward to it :-}

so don’t the mother
and the father
and the brother
and the cousins
spend the evening
drinking themselves
into psychotic
monosyllabic
fools
at competition levels?

and it was 2 in the fucking morning
before I got them all rounded up
and all the way home
and put to bed

and then the old fart
gets me up at 6:30
cos he ain’t feeling well
because
“after all…I’m 75 years old ya know?”

fuck me

so
I don’t get to go for a long ride with the club
cos I didn’t get enough sleep
and I won’t take a chance
when I’m like that

now don’t get me wrong
I love my family dearly
but what would make them think
that I’d want to
spend my birthday celebration
watching them get hammered?

and

truthfully

it makes me sad
t o think
that there is no one
in the world
that understands me
well enough to know
that I didn’t enjoy it
and it wasn’t fun.

happy birthday?
me thinks not!

but listen…
everyone has left now
and it’s Sunday
and if I can’t spend
the rest o the day riding
I’ll just sit quietly in my yard
listening to some lovely music
and writing

except
now the white trash building manager
has decide
to mow the lawn
around the building

I swear it’s like some kinda fuckin plot!

however
I hear
that once August rolls around
all this hinkey stuff
will end
because the cosmos will align
and
we’ll all live happily ever after…

Now I ask ya….
*haven’t we had this discussion before?*