WyzWmn's World©

the deal with the birthday present is that I get it
and send the sister the bill

so

I drove into Future Shop
twice
honest

but I get there

and start actually talking money
my eyes glaze over
and I get all shaky
I guess I’m a lost cause

the ipod I like is not 349.99 it’s 439.99
the Ipod mini is 249.99
but it only holds 1500 songs…
and I’m already there
so the one that I thought was 349.99 is actually 379.99 and has 20 gb….

I got real close to getting one and then……

“but hey there’s the battery thing” says the clerk

I go “what battery thing?”

she says “the 20 gb is 379.99 and the battery play time lasts about 5hrs….but the new ones are 30gb and the battery lasts 18 hrs…and has a color screen and you can load photos on it too….but you don’t have to worry about replacing the battery for at least a year to a year and a half…and a new one is only 158.00 and you have to send it to Apple to get that done….unless you buy one of our extended warranty packages because with one of them it means that when the battery goes it’s our problem not yours”

“so you have to pay to replace the batteries?”

oh ya”

she says at which point I left the store
turns out I can’t do it
I just can’t frivolously spend someone else’s money on something that expensive
when I know that both of us could put the money to better use…

christ Kelly…
you just had surgery…
you ain’t even working right now….

thanks Kelly
I love you right to death
but
I am apparently too frugal for my own fucking good

Every once in a while they surprise ya
don’t they?
my kid sister called me early this morning
to tell me that seein as I’m cracking a half century this year
she’s gonna purchase the ipod of my dreams for me for my birthday
cos I’m too cheap to get one for myself
I can always find something more important to spend that money on…
like….
hmmmmm…
I don’t know?
groceries?
rent?
unimportant stuff like that there

so altho I’m not turning 50 till the end of July
she wants me to get it now
so that I can have it for the full riding season

and the only payoff she wants
is to be able to hear me say out loud
I’m 50

at which point she giggles like a little kid
what a kid eh? (she’s only 42)
I am all farklempt
and if yer looking for me today
I’ll be standing in line at Future Shop
waiting for them to unlock the door!

and Kelly….
I”M GONNA BE 50 JULY 28 2005!