WyzWmn's World©

today is a nice fall day
there’s lots of clouds
however, they are high so
there’s not much chance of rain

I’m torn between
doing some much needed housework
watching movies
or curling up with a book
cos the lords knows
I won’t do all 3

and no…
you don’t get a vote fadder
LoL

for some reason I woke up
with a memory of an obscure song
from the 70’s
stuck in my head

I remember having
one of those new fangled
cassette tape recorder machines
in the house

my father used it to dictate
speeches for his association meetings
and I taped music from the radio
or tv
to listen to

somehow I ended up
with a full Rod McKuen tape
Called “The Seasons: The San Sebastian Strings”

Rod McKuen was
a pretty big deal
in the 70’s
the “revolution” years

he was to the USA
what Leonard Cohen was to Canada

and my mother
thought I was quite
the up and coming
young adult
because I was listening
to McKuen and Cohen
and reading
their books
of poety etc

turns out
what I was reading
was pretty much romantic porn
and therein lies
my penchant for romance

anyway,
this morning
I woke up
with “Fall”
playing in my head

I’ve been all over
the interwebs
and I can’t seem to find
a copy
anywhere
so I’m going to have to
buy it somewhere
methinks

I can’t even find it
in the iTunes store
and the Amazon copy
is gonna cost me
50 bucks

hell of a price to pay
to get a song outta
my head

this is “Do You Like the Rain”

and “It’s Raining”

on another note
my friend Ted
says that
the style in which
I write
is prose

in listening
to Rod McKuen’s stuff
that I could find
on line today

I think
I may have
finally figured out
how that happened.

as many people are
around the world…
today I am remembering
9-11

I have a different take
on 9-11 than most

because
even though
I spent that day
tied to my chair
in my living room
not even able
to get up
to get dressed

although I spent the day
shocked and weeping…

although I was horrified
of the mass destruction,
the heinous loss of lives
and the ground swell of
sympathy/empathy
from around the world

9-11 for me
kick started
my lagging life

catapulted me into action

9-11 made me take a look
at the waiting game
I’d been playing
around my health
and life in general..

and make a commitment
to begin living again

I’ve told the story often enough
of my getting up
on the 12th of Sept that year
and dragging the VOD
off to the hairdressers
and shaving my head
for the first time

part of my commitment
to getting me back
from the hole
I’d been hiding in

…it was a way
to end the self conscious agony
I’d been living in
since my hair
had begun to fall out
and my medication
and then diet
had caused me to gain
almost 150 more lbs

it was the first step…

and it was prompted by
the very clear understanding
that we don’t get a 2nd chance

that we have no way
of knowing
when we’ll be chosen
to leave this web…

and it was brought about
by those planes
hitting the 2 towers in Manhattan
or the Pentagon

so here I am
10 years after

there have been
hard lessons learned
and lots of
trial and error
plenty more tears
tons of agony
and self flagellation
placing trust too easily

but I’m still
as committed to
experiencing each and every
day of my life
as I was
on the 12th of Sept

I’ve learned to lick
my wounds
and move on

and that
in some odd way
makes 9-11
my own personal blessing

for which
I’m grateful