does this bike make my butt look big?

today I had to do some running around
on behalf of my unit

whilst driving thru the View Royal area
of the thriving metropolis of Victoria
I happened to be stopped at the lights
at Admirals and Craigflower
waiting to turn left onto Old Island Highway..

a woman comes screaming down the hill
on Old Island Highway

trying to beat the light

she’s on one of them 49cc scooters
the ones that don’t go very fast
(so screaming down
is a relative term)
and are tiny
(and in my opinion should have to use
the bicycle lanes)

as she rounds the corner
heading away from me
on Admirals
I have a moment
to think

“honey…that’s not exactly
a becoming look for you”


and as if that wasn’t enough

on my way to the dr’s
later this aft

I spot a fellow
sitting at the lights at the 6 Mile

on a scooter

just a tiny bit bigger
wearing a full riding ensemble
helmet
gloves
black leather studded jacket
chaps
motorcycle boots

all I could do was laugh…

it reminded me of a time
when I lived in Minneapolis
that a group of 8 of us
“motorcycle enthusiasts”
pulled to an intersection
beside the largest human being
I have ever seen
fully swathed in a
silver lame
riding suit
a la Elvis…
complete with 3 gold stars
across his back
and a yellow silk scarf
wearing a matching
full faced helmet

riding a moped

we laughed so hard
I had to get off
and park it for a while

so as of this afternoon
I’ve had the following quote
running thru my head non stop:
“does this bike
make my butt
look big?”

careful now
don’t hurt yerself on that.

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it makes ya wonder

so last night
I attended a birthday celebration
for my friend Cinderella
a few friends getting together for dinner
most of whom I didn’t know
but I’d not seen Cinderella in
“like forever”
so I made a commitment to go

and ya’ll know how I am
about integrity
I gave my word
and no matter how much
I detest
going into town
or getting off the couch
when I have not 1, not 2 but 5
good library books
just freshly picked up
or putting my pants on
and going to a restaurant
and explaining my food situation
I went

the dinner was to be held
at Cafe Mexico
and I’ve eaten there before
albeit a year er so ago
so I perused the menu online
to make sure that I could eat…
given my huge basket
of strange dietary needs

I was pleased that
I was able to find
several opportunities
on the menu.

so I drive downtown
arrive about 15 min early
as is my wont
and drive around for 20 min
looking for a parking spot

get to the restaurant
and run into a couple of people
that I worked with at the call center
not close friends
but people I’ve not seen
face to face
in 4 years
which is nice

fast forward
and the birthday girl arrives
with her bestest childhood friend The Singer

as karma will sometimes have it
I end up sitting across from The Singer
and eventually her husband
who I oughta know
cos he works at the local dealership

lots of talking ensued
and the end result
was extra nice
we had some really good laughs
told each other some really good stories
and at the end of the evening
Cinderella, the Singer and the Husband and I
had a rousing conversation after everyone else left
about the demon FaceBook
it was much fun
and I was still home
before I turned into a punkin!

but all this is not what make me wonder…

what makes me wonder is this:
when it came time to order dinner
the lovely little server
got farklempt
when I explained the pepper allergy
and once she took our orders
and went into the kitchen
to advise the “chefs” (and I use that term loosely)
of my allergy…

they refused to feed me

she said “they said they throw peppers
and pepper flakes all over back there
so they can’t guarantee that there
won’t be cross contamination”

so whilst my friends and acquaintances ate
I didn’t
Cinderella felt bad
and I felt bad for making her feel bad

anyone that knows me
knows that I’ve gotten pretty
adept at managing
around my dietary needs
cos I have a whole basket of them

but really?

doesn’t it make you wonder
what kind of work space
a restaurant has
that can’t say they won’t/can’t
cross contaminate you?

I’ve eaten in restaurants
all over this city
and never ever been told
that they’d refuse
to even try

How is it that a place
like the Noodle Box
can feed me
without hurting me
and prides themselves
on being able to do that
but Cafe Mexico
wasn’t interested in trying?

Needless to say
Cafe Mexico is off the dining list
going forward

it was still a great night
I saw Cinderella
and made a couple o new pals
in spite of the negative
feelings about the restaurant.

Happy Birthday Cinderella!
yer still a baby LoL

edited to add:
in the wee server’s favor
she did comp my 2 glasses of
diet coke cos she felt bad

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