WyzWmn's World©

I spent Friday in hospital
having a bladder scan

first
they take yer glasses away from you
so ya can’t see squat
and feel kinda puky

then they gauze and tape
yer earrings
so that nothing happens to them
while yer under
(and that’s real purdy)

then they put this
really itchy
party hat on ya
(and purdy ain’t a word
to describe it let me tell you….)

then some one grabs ya
by the ankles
and yards ya down the table
(no small feat for anyone
considering my size)
and straps ya
in the stirrups
from the knees down..
.just in case ya might wanna
frickin escape
I guess…

a position,
I might add
that I thought
that at almost
55 yrs of age
I’d not be coming up against
again – anytime soon

boy was I wrong.

then one cowboy
ties a tourniquet
around my right arm
whilst another
is givin me a freakin skin pop
in my left arm
(….in my day
we punched people in the head
for bubblin yer arm like that!)

and right
in the middle
of all this
some nurse
starts to scrub
my who ha
with what felt like
a wire brush!

Without
so much as
a “by your leave”
er nuttin!

then
the drugs took over
and I don’t remember anything
till I woke up in the recovery room
where the OR nurse
came to tell me
that in all the many years
she’s been an OR nurse
she’d never talked to anyone
anywhere near
as funny as I am
whist under the influence
of anesthetic…

all this
so they could tell me
that there really is
nuttin
wrong with my bladder

*sigh*

I just had a harrowing experience

when I had Pixie at the Vet 2 weeks ago
they gave me follow up meds
to give her today
little we syringe with about 1/4 cc of goop in it

so I get the girl
settle in on the couch
and try to hold her head to put the syringe in her mouth

she went stark raving mad

she screamed
she bit me
she clawed at me
I thought her little heart was gonna explode
and I never have heard
screaming like that in my life
like a baby only really really high pitched
ear piercing…

I let go of her head
and she was stopped screaming
but spent a great deal of time
trying to escape from me
the term greased piglet
doesn’t quite cut it…

I tried again
about 20 min later
exact same thing
precisely the same response
even more frenzied if possible…

so I cuddled her for about half an hour
and then got the little syringe
and began to play with her with the syringe
and finally she put the tip in her mouth to chew it
(she is teething after all)
and I hit the hammer and she swallowed

she stopped dead
and glared at me
and then climbed under the comforter on the couch
and ignored me for about an half hour

I am apparently forgiven now

I hope this little dog never gets sick
I’d be fucked.