WyzWmn's World©

I’m just not meant to ride this year

so this evening
I finally
for the first time this season
thought I’d go out and fire up the Pickle
and see what I need to do

I mean
I’m feeling better
and I really should clean my house
cos it kinda looks like the crazy cat lady lives here
but without the cats

still…if I feel good enough to clean
I’d like to kick over the old Pickle

I go out to the yard
and peel the old trike cover off
it’s seen better days
and I’ll likely have to replace it soon

I dust off the seat
and scare off a couple of moths

she needs her pipes painted again
and the trim that tried to knock Georgie
offa his bike on the Kelowna connector
last summer
glued back on
and likely having both tail lights working
and a speedo wouldn’t hurt…
but still

I climb on….

I plug in the key
depress the clutch
and turn

nothing

battery is dead
but it’s a car battery
and I can boost it
cos I have cables
well…actually I have 2 sets of cables

off on a cable hunt I go
much fussing
and muttering ensues
and I come to find out
that when the VOD gave the VODmobile
to the nefew
she gave him – not one
but 2 sets of cables.

*hand/forehead*
then
*head/handlebars*

I put the cover back on
and come back into the house.

if I still feel good after work tomorrow
I’ll stop and pick up some cables
and see if I can boost it

who knows
I might get a ride around the parking lot
for Canada Day!

seems I’ve been doing it again

seems that I’ve been allowing
my passion
my pleasure
my faith
and my perspective

to come from without
instead of from within

all my life I’ve known
that my greatest struggles come
when I stop listening
to my own voice
and start listening
to others

not arrogance,
conviction.

not audacity,
faith

not ego
belief

not conceit,
passion

the richness
and vastness
of my caring
and faith
in humanity
in the big picture
gets caught up
in the minutiae
of the inevitable
negativity and strife
that comes
from without

I keep getting
these great
huge examples

like spending 4 or 5 years
doing what others think/say I should
for the good of the all
and my position
in the pack

my disappointment
at the hasty red neck
judgments
of a few I’d come to meet
that profess to have
a commonality
with me…

my feelings of loss
around the concept
of career
and greater good

once again
I am faced with
a waking
of self
and an understanding
that no one
or nothing
is responsible
for my hopes
or dreams
my faith
or beliefs

and I can go about my day
with heart
and understanding

and a decidedly
christian thought
for a non christian:

“forgive them, for they know not what they do”

go figure.