WyzWmn's World©

did ya ever wonder
what it is
that made you
the way you are?

how did I end up such a romantic?
how did I end up a crier?
how did I end up with a firm resolve towards kindness
in spite of the life I’ve lived,
the people I’ve encountered?

how’d this happen to me
when it didn’t to so many others?

what’s the difference?
what causes it?

what makes me want to believe in the good
when so many don’t, can’t, won’t?

what makes me trust
until proven I shouldn’t
as opposed to starting out
from a negative standpoint?

what is it that makes me believe
that love and kindness
will eventually win over
even the most
jaded
cruel
people I encounter.

I must be a glutton for punishment…

nevertheless
I’m still gonna be
a romantic
that weeps
when affected by
the beauty
or the anguish
of life

all the hate,
anger,
meanness,
cruelty,
and judgement
I encounter
may make me stumble

and still
I will try
to follow
this path
I find myself on…

I gotta say
I’m some kinda glad
to see the end
of this week

Tuesday I spent the day
with my father
at the Cancer Clinic

he has Adenocarcinoma
a cancer of the lung
specifically found in
non smokers
and women
he has a 4.5cm tumor
and nodes in both lungs

this cancer
is ineligible for radiation
and even if he’d do it
(and he’s not interested)
he can’t have chemo
as he has an enlarged aorta
and chemo would likely kill him

we left the clinic that day
with a ballpark
diagnosis of “about a year”

he’s very interested in
his quality of life
over quantity
and I’m intent
on helping him get that
whether I agree
with his decisions
or not

they also told him
that there is some new
wonder drug
called Gefitinib
(I kid you not)
that has had hugely
positive results
in people with his type
of cancer

however – only 10%
of cancer patient
have the right genetic makeup
to handle the drug
and chances were slim
that’d he’d fit the criteria

so yesterday
I went to see
my new rheumatologist
who is helping me get my pain
under control
and whom led me to
an appointment
with an endocrinologist
with amazing results

I was feeling pretty good
and then today
we found out
that Dad qualifies
for Gefitinib!!

I feel kinda like
I’m peepin
the light
at the end of the tunnel

I hope and pray
it ain’t a train!