WyzWmn's World©

I’m a little sad today
to think that the end of my
forced holiday
is coming to a close

don’t get me wrong
I’m excited about
what the future will bring
starting my new job on Monday

but this has been
a long
tough
emotionally
and physically
year for me so far
and I’ve been taking stock

an acquaintance of mine
is dieing of cancer
horribly

he’s fought a good long fight
and I would suspect he’s tired
but is desperate to stay
for his family
is anyone ever really ready to leave?

I went through my FB friends today
and counted 17 people
that have passed away
since I started my account
I can’t bring myself to delete them
and most of them
I go visit every once in a while
to remember…

a friend said
she was unsure of what to say
to the friend that’s dieing
I said to tell him
that he was a good friend
and he made a difference
that’s what we all want to believe eh?

From the movie Prince of Persia:
“The Gods have a plan for you, a destiny…
It is said some lives are linked across time.
There are certain people connected by an ancient calling
that echoes through the ages………destiny.”

I can’t stop thinkin
about Peter

how does one
continue to live their lives
after loosing
their soulmate?

wtf is fair about that?
I ask myself
over and over…

what’s fair about
going for so many years
of your life
not feeling whole
and just when you get shit
worked out
it’s taken away from you
in some weird kind of
karmic/kosmic slam?

you all know
that I believe
in the weave
and it’s defining
the length of time
and conditions
in which we live…

I have to wonder though
when the weave
looks so blatantly unfair…

and then
there’s this huge
disappointment in my life
in not being able to
join my brothers and sisters wise
in Colorado

not only
to miss the Gathering
of the Tribe
but for patching/vesting too…
I was sooo looking forward
to fully belonging

so I wait longer
it’s not hard
it’s just
disappointing
on a rather large
sad scale
and the culmination
of a bunch of
kosmic slaps
so far this year

first the illness
then the job loss
then more illness
then my aunt’s death
then rachel’s death
my friend’s death
and now Colorado

wtf is fair
about any of that?

oh
I know
that I should
thank my lucky stars
that I found a good job
in such a timely manner…

and don’t get me wrong
I am eternally grateful
to be able to support
my never ending habit
of medical needs LoL

but shysta!
I’d been planing this trip
for a frelling year!
and coulda really
used a real
tribe “hug”
at the moment…

*sigh*

I know I talk continually
about being a work in progress
and I acknowledge it
every single day of my adult life

seriously though?
the fact that my job
was lost
in the manner it was
will forever
be a disappointment to me

I’ve forgiven the perpetrator
cos that’s what
I needed to do for me

again with the seriously…
tout kindness compassion and love
and then screw over someone
you profess to care about

KaLassie!

so the disappointment
I’m feeling
has caused me to ponder
the evolution
of the themes
in my life

I do!

I see these same themes
in my life
all the time

they continue
to remind me
of the path I travel

I remain in search
of
Wisdom
Strength
and
Honour