A Toast to the Bride and Groom

It would seem, that once again, it falls to me to speak….Guess it’s a good thing I’m rarely at a loss for words huh?

Those of you that know me will be happy to note that I have finally made investment in Kleenex tissue stock…cos I’m a girl scout.

I could start this with a “Once Upon a Time”…but we’re all way to old to have time enough for that, so instead I’ll start from my beginning with the newlyweds.

I’ve known Brenda for virtually as long as she’s been on the Island. Not as long as many of you and longer than some of you. Right from the beginning we developed a rapport that was something like a sisterhood. Bee is my sister wise and I have, right from the beginning, been drawn to her strength of character and integrity. I like it that she strives to be the best she can be all the time, not just some of the time. I know that I’m lucky to have someone as sincere and as heartfelt on my side. I like it that we’ve become the kind of friends that allows her to tell me to shut up…even when no one else will…Bee’s been through a lot in the last couple of years and I’ve been worried about her.

A couple of years into my friendship with Bee, I happened to run into Bryan…in all honesty it was his trike that first caught my attention. I was at Clover Point with my visiting maiden aunts and the Voice of Doom and spotted his trike and virtually abandoned my family for talking to he and Gator. Gator had just recently met Ali, the love of his life and Bryan was a little bereft. I remember clearly two things from that day….I remember the maiden aunts and the Voice of Doom twittering about Bryan’s big wonderful smile and I remember feeling right from the beginning that Bryan and I would become fast friends.

So now I can fast forward to July 2004 and Bryan and I decide to ride our trikes to Salmon Arm for the Summer Stomp, just like adults. Bee, ever the social butterfly is driving her van with a gaggle of women on board. I had introduced the two of them previous to this weekend…but this was the first time they actually got to spend some time with each other. We all spent different parts of the weekend with each other and many other friends and then we returned to the Island.

So

Here’s where I could fill your ears with all kinds of stories and suppositions about destiny, and karma and things being meant to be, but what I will remember forever is a call from Bee in her oh so politically correct and professional voice asking me “if I’d mind if she was receptive to contact from Bryan as they’d twinkled at the Summer Stomp”

Twinkled says I?
What the hell is twinkled?

Apparently…twinkled they did. And inspite of the odds, and the roadblocks large and small, Bryan and Bee became a couple.

I held my breath, and I (ever the selfish one) lived for a while in abject terror that something would happen and they’d quit talking to each other. I mean really? Where the hell would I be if my best male friend and my best female friend couldn’t stand each other.

But as we can all see…luck and destiny and karma were on my side and they truly fell in love.….and as it turns out karma and destiny were taking control because through time they found out that they went to public school together, Bryan a grade behind Bee…he remembers her but she doesn’t remember him.

From the outside….I love it that they see the best and the worst of each other. I love it that they take turns being the strong one and the soft one. I love it that they work so hard at respecting each other and operating within integrity with each other. I love it that they have built a life together, and I am honored to be here at the beginning of this newest chapter.

Brenda and Bryan, May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another – not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you know your fullness.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.

May you want one another, but not out of lack.

May you entice one another, but not compel one another.

May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise, often say, “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults.

May you race to be the first to say I’m sorry.

May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another’s presence – no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.

May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.

May you have love, and may you find it loving one another!

Ladies and Gentlemen please raise your glasses

A Toast!

To the Bride and Groom!

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People Puzzle Me…

yup
they do…I have here a compilation of some of the things that currently puzzle me…
~~~~~~
so I may have mentioned that my brother and his wife have split up
he’s like selling the farm to get shet of her
and she’s sucking him dry
literally

so today – she phones and says she wants all their airmiles points
cos she’s gonna go to India on holidays with her new beau of 15 minutes
and cos she’s gonna treat one of her friends to a trip to Oprah

(go figure)

he says…no…you can’t have all of them
cos you didn’t earn all of them
and I’ve already given you the house
the business
and my left testicle

so I think I’ll just keep some of the airmiles points
she freaks and calls him all kinds of names
then she hangs up
and her boyfriend calls back
to tell him that he’s (my brother) being mean to her
and he shouldn’t

my brother – ever the nice guy
says “have a nice day” and hangs up

me…I’d have said
“get yer loppy arse outta the bed I paid for and see ya in court!”
~~~~~~~~~~
next puzzle:
where I work
we have all these people that are really really good at their job
and all these people that are…not so much
so one of the really good people wants to make puppies for a day
(as in fuckin the dog)
my boss says “no”
so I say “no”
so she says “fine then I quit”
so I say “I don’t take blackmail lightly – see ya! bye!”
and the boss says
“ok – fuck the dog for a day”
and she’s still employed
so I talk to him about it
and in the long run we argee that we have to take blackmail lightly
cos in our position right now
she’s got us both by the speckled bluies
~~~~~~~~~

next puzzle:
my mom is scared of Dr’s
and as a result hasn’t gone to one regularly for about 30 or more years
so last Monday she mentions that she has had this “episode”
where her eye “went black” for an hour or so

so I suggest she should have that looked at by a Dr
and she figures she don’t need a GP

so she goes to the optometrist
???
he (cos he’s a smart man)
tells her that she needs to have a bunch of tests run
and she says “well ok”
so he says “who’s your GP?”
she says “aint’ got one”
so he says “isn’t that funny…
I have a friend that ‘s just opened up a practice around the corner”
and walks her out the door and around the corner
to the GP’s office…

so she has an appointment
and I think we’re makin progress here
and she goes for the first visit
and comes back pissed
cos the Dr put her on BP med’s
and ordered about a bajillion tests
she feels
she’s succumbing to the influence
of the demon pharmaceutical companies

I’m like…
“whatever!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
next puzzle:
here I am
a smart cookie
why am I still workin at a place
were I now feel
completely overwhelmed by the workload?
is it cos it’s easy?
is it cos it’s safe?
is it cos I am resistant to change?
is it cos I am so insecure that I believe I can’t get anything better?
is it cos I’m lazy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
next puzzle:
how did I let myself get roped into
being in the wedding party
nobody said nutting about carrying flowers
and walking in a freakin procession
ain’t it enough that I’m dressing like a god damn girl?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
last puzzle for the day:
look at the size of one square of toilet tissue
now
look at the size of one kleenex tissue
think of what those 2 different tissues clean
and tell me that ain’t a fucking puzzle to you too!

G’night Dick~

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