Ad naseum…

Every day it’s the same thing…

I wake up I feel fine…
Let the dog out to do her business
Then I do mine

Get dressed fire up to work computer
Sit down to start working…

I’m starving and I want coffee
I make a cup of coffee(or tea or hot water)
Halfway through the cup
the nausea begins
I’m starving… i’m nauseous
I’m nauseous and I’m starving
Viscious circle

All my body wants to do
is curl up in a ball in bed
But I can’t
Today is a workin day

Exactly the same things happens
If I start with a smoothie,
A piece of toast,
Some cereal
An egg
I’m so fucking tired
Of potatoes

All day
Every day
Still waiting on surgery

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Dreaming on repeat…

Ever suffer through a dream on repeat?

More than 10 years ago I had a friendship with someone that I cared deeply for and respected abundantly….That relationship/friendship came to an end when that person hurt me deeply…(apparently I have a talent for attracting those kind of people as it’s happened numerous times in my life)

For over 10 years I have had dreams about that person…They are never about repairing the friendship… They are always about my embarrassment and hurt at being taken advantage of again…

My life is pretty good these days…I have effectively cut most of the darkness away, and I have made great strides in understanding my own responsibilities and boundaries and I’m doing pretty well at holding fast to them…

Then why the hell does this continue to happen? Am in fact lying to myself about my recovery or is it simply that I am spending too much time alone?

The mind plays curious tricks

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