Hot showers and clean bedding…


Is there anything that could possibly feel better when you’re sick then a hot shower, a clean night dress and a clean bed?  Unless it would be to still have your mom around …

I really do need a housekeeper…too bad I can’t afford one  lol

I’m not sick again, I’m still sick.

I’ve been sick my whole life. I was born this way…had my first surgery at 21 days old. The next person that suggests I should do something about my health and feeling better is going to get throat punched…oil of oregano will not fix everything…just saying.

I mean seriously? Do you not think that I haven’t tried every possible medium in an effort to feel better?  In spite of a brain injury I’m still relatively intelligent. This is not a ploy to get attention. This is the mind boggling, day to day drudgery of living with chronic disease/illness/pain.   Yes, there are millions of people in the world that are worse off than I am, that does not lessen my conditions or my reactions.

I can’t work in administration anymore because administration jobs are 9 to 5 or 8 to 4 and I spend anywhere from 2 to 6 hours every morning running between my bed; where I lay to try to keep from throwing up and the bathroom in an effort to not crap myself…cos that’s fun.

I am endeavouring to find myself some sort of job that I could work afternoons and early evenings because I also always completely run out of steam by 930 10 o’clock… It’s so easy for people to say “just get a job” or “you should go to work or there’s lots of jobs out there”. But for a person who has restrictions on the hours they can work, the type of work they can now do and the length of time they can stand on any given day… it ain’t a cakewalk.   So… while I don’t mind  suggestions please only suggestions that could lead to a positive outcome … losing your career at 63 years of age aint a cakewalk either.

I hope to be applying for disability… but that’s not a walk in the park either. They don’t offer enough money to actually live on so you have to have a part-time job and the process for application is anywhere from 3 to 5 months long …  how the hell are you supposed to afford food in the interim?

Oh…also…there’s no guarantee that in spite of having Crohn’s disease, diabetes, arthritis, depression, high blood pressure, and a brain injury (andnow also the possibility  of an adrenal disease ) that I will even qualify for disability.

Juggling doctors and counsellors and medical tests is a full-time job…one  that we don’t get paid for… unless of course they can make you feel better and so far that hasn’t worked but I’ll keep tryin.

… just don’t be silly enough to tell me I really should do something about my health.





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…holy shitsticks!

No matter how often you explain to people what it’s like to live with a disease like Crohn’s there’s never going to be any understanding for them if they don’t have the disease them selves.  Frankly lots of people that have the disease don’t suffer the same way as other people with the disease or the same way I do.   Maybe they don’t have debilitating depression, maybe they don’t have the pain, the blood, the lack of control, aching joints,lethargy, possibly their food choices are not limited to primarily complex carbohydrates.  Who knows?  Maybe there’s actually people in the world that only have one healthy bowel movement a day.

This morning for the first time in many years I had a Crohn’s-splosion in my bathroom. I am 63 years old soon to be 64, I’ve been dealing with this disease for around 40 years… over the course of those years I’ve had many different kinds of symptoms, “accidents” and remissions.  This was the first time it was explosive.

As I’m standing in my bathroom buck nekid but for a pair of rubber gloves; washing walls, floors, shower curtain and toilet ( to get it clean enough so I can get into the shower and clean myself) … my neighbour walks in looking to borrow some cream.  I live in what is sort of classified as a shortgun home in that as you walk through the front door you can see straight through the dining room and kitchen to the bath.

Seriously? What can I do but laugh?  Because if I don’t laugh I’m  going to go back to bed and I’m never going to get up again.

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