Zippy The Clown

I was reminded
today at work
about the time I was Zippy the Clown
for a day

well
actually
it’s prolly happened more n oncet in my life
but this one bears repeating

so 2 summer’s ago
I was about to make the big trek over the Coquillhalla to go to Summer Stomp
(for those of you non-riding, non-BCer’s -that’s a weekend motorcycle bash held in Salmon Arm)

well you know me
I’m a girl scout
so I get me all prepared like
I buy all the supplies I need to go camping for the weekend
cos I can carry everything but the kitchen sink on my big green motorPickle!
and while I’m doing so I buy a tube of lip gloss that has SPF 30 in it
cos I always sun burn my yap when riding in the summer

round about the same time
I also bought a tube of vivid red gloss
prompted by the Voice of Doom
who spends a lotta time squawking
about me not doing face paint no more

anyway
the day I start my holiday dawns bright and clear
the sun is shining
and there I am
waiting for the first ferry of the day
to get off this big ole rock

on the ferry I go
across the sound I go
off the ferry I go
skirting the city I go
on to Hope and the Coquillhalla I go
about half way over the mountain there’s a toll booth

I am havin a blast!
first holiday off the island since I moved to BC
and I am motoring coolness

it occurs to me
as I am blasting along in the sunshine
that I’m likely burning my yap

without looking
I reach in my pocket
grab a tube of lip stuff
and spread it all over my lips
and then for good measure…
~cos ya don’t wanna get chin cancer
I paint a liberal coat over the top of my lips
just to make sure I don’t get burnt

a while later I arrive at the toll booth
all my coolness intact
I stop and take off my glove
and pass the toll booth guy some cash

it’s not till I reach up to pass him the cash that I look at his face
and he’s got that deer caught in the headlights look on his face

I thinks to meself
“that’s odd”
and as I lower my hand
I catch sight of my face in the side mirror

*oh crap!*

you guessed it
I’d spread red lipstick all over my chin
in lieu of gloss

~sigh~
there’s goes your coolness factor you moron!

“just call me Zippy the Clown” says I
the toll booth guy just continues to look stunned
as I and rode over to the facilities
to wash the lower half of my face
and hang my head in shame!!