I have been removed from Victoria Bariatric’s…without my knowledge.
Very early this morning I made a post on Victoria Bariatric’s and included a link as a response to someone who had asked a question about a pending test…when I realized that I was not on BC Bariatrics, that I was in fact on Victoria Bariatrics I also realized Facebook was not allowing me to delete the post.
Knowing that the current admin is away on holidays I reached out to a past admin to see if that person could remove my post for me as I know it was in a breach of their rules.
A couple of hours later I received a terse and condescending text advising me to review the rules of the site… I know the rules of the site if I didn’t know the rules of the site I would never have asked anyone to remove that post for me….there were soon several texts between myself and this person who continued to CC several other people she called Admins but never telling me who they were.
I found the texts to be bullying. I finally said please feel free to stop texting me. What I didn’t say is you’re not my mother and I’m 62 years old and can pretty much understand when I’ve made a mistake. Or that she was being a bully. I wasn’t rude, I wasn’t condescending and patronizing the way she was and I wasn’t mean-spirited. But seriously I have enough stress in my life without this becoming part of it.
I was just informed by a friend from that group that I am no longer a member of that site/group. When I then texted the person in question she informed me that it was a unanimous decision amongst the “amongst the admin team”. I admit at that point I kinda lost my shit and advise her that she wasn’t being “very adult”.
While this makes me sad I can honestly say that of late that particular group has not been of much assistance to me. Though I have developed friendships with many people I have met through that group and feel strongly about the community we have built…I don’t feel that it was answering many of my needs as a post-surgery patient. I do however feel like I have a responsibility to answer questions that people ask who are just starting this process as was done in the past for me.
I didn’t, as most of you likely don’t know, that the original admins to that group have never let the purse strings go… in spite of having told us all that they step down as administrators of the group they, in fact, are still hold all the control. It’s amazing to me how many admins have stepped down due to the negativity that they have voiced they’ve experienced whilst trying to help our community.
The only answer to all questions anyone has around bariatric surgery cannot be “call your doctor” that’s simply illogical. There’s a huge breath and width of understanding and knowledge in the members of that group just as there’s a myriad of emotions and physicality’s that happen around the surgery and frankly that kind of rigidity is offensive to me it’s exclusive as opposed to inclusive, which is where my heart lies. That particular level of control smacks of the same kind of “fat shaming” or obesity shaming that I have experienced for many years.
I believe in living in authentic life..for me being authentic does not mean that I lie to people and tell them I lost weight naturally…..I don’t judge those who keep their surgery private but I do not as is my prerogative.
My feelings are not hurt at no longer being a member of Victoria Bariatrics. I will miss the people that I enjoyed there….however that level of bullying and my continually ignoring my Spidey senses tingling when I experienced that level of bullying is not conducive to my reaching good emotional health.
Y’all know where to find me …. I ain’t going anywhere.