I really am my own worst enemy…

Several months ago a friend sent me one of those little whirly gig things for frothing your coffee… I didn’t have any AA batteries so I didn’t use it and I kept forgetting to pick up AA batteries so I haven’t used it ….this morning I made a cuppa coffee and decided what I should do is make a mocha out of it by adding some hot chocolate mix…

So I made the coffee put a spoonful of hot chocolate mix in it and then stuck a little wand in it to stir… And because the wand was already turned on when I put it in the cup, it splashed coffee and hot chocolate mix all over me and all over my kitchen…. That gave me a good laugh and I cleaned it up.

But being duly filed under the not too bright category this morning before coffee, I then picked up the wand turned it on and stuck it back in the cup … and again splashed coffee and hot chocolate mix all over the countertop and everything that was sitting on the counter 

There’s a reason that they froth the milk in a separate container… I’ve just confirmed for myself what that is 

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Former Type A

How weird must it be for a person who spent their whole life being Type A to all of a sudden not be any more?

To spend years and years being hyper organized and detailed and having everything under control in both your personal and professional lives and then all of a sudden you hit your head one too many times and that’s gone?

To go from making lists and (sometimes) frantically acting upon them and being hyper focussed on everything you do to making lists and then making lists of your lists…but never actioning them?

That’s me.

Almost every day I say exactly the same thing to myself…. “Today I really must do such and such”…. And then tomorrow morning, I say to myself “today I really must do such and such”….and the day after, and the day after that.

There’s no frantic (unless I’m in a crowd) there’s no hyper focus, there’s no guilt about not getting things done and often it may take me a week or several to get a job accomplished… It’s not like there’s anything in the way and it’s not like I’m lazy.

This is what living with a brain injury is like.

I’ve always thought there has been some kind of neuro spicy going on in my brain. I’ve always thought that I don’t react like others, and I don’t view many things like others… and in spite of family members and loved ones, always telling me that I am smart, intelligent articulate. I have always felt that I was missing something…that I wasn’t quite getting the point.

Well apparently one too many knocks on the head has allowed me to just “let it go…”

My father spent his whole life telling me to just let it go. He’d be so proud of me now.

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